When a Spouse Becomes a Caregiver: How Roles Can Change After Aphasia
Aphasia can change a person’s life in many ways. It can also change the life of their partner or spouse. When someone has trouble speaking, reading, or understanding language, their partner may step in to help.
A caregiving spouse does many things, like helping with communication, going to doctor visits, managing bills, and supporting daily needs. They do this out of love. But over time, it can become tiring, emotional, and even overwhelming.
This blog post is about how spousal roles change after aphasia and how this change can affect the caregiver’s well-being in the long term. It’s also about ways to stay healthy, supported, and connected as a couple.
Spouses Often Take on New Roles
Before aphasia, couples often share tasks and make choices together. They may talk easily, plan meals, go out together, or divide household chores. But after a stroke or brain injury that causes aphasia, this balance can shift.
Now, the partner without aphasia may:
Help with speaking or writing
Handle all phone calls or appointments
Take care of money and bills
Drive to therapy or grocery store
Speak on behalf of their loved one
Some caregivers also feel they are the “voice” for their spouse. They may speak for them in doctors’ offices or public places. This can feel helpful—but it can also feel like a big responsibility.
The Emotional Impact on Caregivers
Being a caregiver for someone you love is not easy. It is both rewarding and exhausting.
Common caregiver feelings include:
Love and loyalty — “I want to help them as much as I can.”
Sadness or loss — “I miss the way we used to talk and laugh.”
Stress and fatigue — “There’s so much to do every day.”
Guilt — “I feel bad for feeling tired or angry.”
These feelings are normal. You are not alone. Many caregivers feel this way. It’s okay to talk about it and ask for help.
How Long-Term Caregiving Can Affect Health
If a spouse becomes a caregiver for many months or years, it can affect their health too. This includes:
Tiredness or trouble sleeping
Depression or anxiety
Feeling isolated or lonely
Less time for self-care or hobbies
Some caregivers stop going out with friends. Others skip doctor visits for themselves or give up their favorite activities. Over time, this can hurt both the caregiver and the person with aphasia.
Taking care of yourself is not selfish—it is necessary.
Ways to Stay Strong and Supported
Here are some ways caregivers can find balance, even in hard times:
1. Talk About Your Feelings
It helps to talk with someone you trust, like a friend, a counselor, or a support group. Saying how you feel can release stress and remind you that you’re not alone.
2. Get Help from Others
Caregiving is too big for one person alone. Ask family or friends to help with meals, rides, or errands. Let others be part of the care team.
3. Take Breaks When You Can
Even a short break—a walk, a bath, or time to read—can refresh your mind. If possible, use respite care services so you can rest and recharge.
4. Stay Social
Keep in touch with people you enjoy. Go out when you can. Join a caregiver support group, either in person or online. It feels good to talk to others who understand.
5. Keep the Connection with Your Spouse
Even if conversation is hard, you can still connect. Try:
Holding hands
Looking at old photos
Listening to music together
Sitting quietly side by side
Small, loving moments matter.
A New Type of Relationship
Caregiving can change the way your relationship feels. You may feel more like a helper than a partner. That can be sad or confusing. But it’s possible to build a new kind of relationship—one based on teamwork, patience, and care.
Some couples find new ways to enjoy life together. They find new routines, new joys, and new ways to say “I love you.”
You are still a couple. You are still in this together.
You Are Not Alone
If you are a spousal caregiver, remember:
It’s okay to feel overwhelmed
Your feelings are valid
You deserve care and support too
You are doing something brave and loving every day. But you cannot do it all alone. Please reach out for help when you need it.
For support, questions, or if you need a friend to talk to who just “gets it,” please feel free to reach out to us at [email protected]. Don’t forget to follow us on Facebook and Instagram for the latest news from Aphasia Readers! If you haven’t picked up an Aphasia Readers book, order your copy HERE!
God Bless,
Anna Teal